Please Do Not Provoke

hari ni agak angin sebab almost every day diujakan dgn soklan2 yang sama Kau balik kampung tak raya ni? Kau balik kampung tak raya ni,...?

Aduh tension tahap gaban plak...dah laa baru naik keja semalam MC head spinning... soklan2 camni sure akan menambah sakit kepala ku...

tahler, bukan aku tak nak balik...sapa taknak salam tangan mak ayah pepagi raya beb... dah le 12 tahun je dok full-time dgn parents ni dah 35 tahun hidup..takkan tak nak jumpa mak ayah even for raya sekali pun..

i found myself kept too many HURT-FEELINGS for the 20 over years yang tak tinggal dgn parents tu... no doubt, i am one of the nottiest/rebellious kids my parents ever had...i am not like my brothers...angah for example, always the BEST among us..(true...mak selalu cerita masa ngandungkan angah mimpi bulan jatuh ke riba...) kalau about me, masanak beranak kan kau, air takde...kena cari air sana sini..nak membersihkan kau pun susah....(i kept this hurtful feeling since I was a teenager....for me, there is a clear line between me and my brother...) i managed to hide that feeling for tens of years..but nowadays i felt so down when i was provoked.. balik kampung tak..balik kampung tak..? i am not brainless...i could think..please do not provoke such things that might further me away from our bigger famili...

i am hurt inside for years and when i disclose my 'unsatisfying feeling to some certain events' ended up I AM STILL THE REBELLIOUS to my mother.."Mak, alah tetap sayang mak.. camana mak kat amak tak pilih kasih, tapi pada alah, mak masih lagi pilih kasih....mak bayak banding2 kan anak2...mak sayangkan menantu2 perempuan mak, sebab mak taknak menantu mak bawak lari anak2 mak...tapi menantu mak bukan semua yang paham...yang tak paham tu la yang #$%^&*..sebab dia la alah jadi lebih kecik hati... alah mintak maaf, ye mak..!"